I’ve not truly learned how to wear my mask. Something always breaks me down. But that’s the story for me. It’s the ‘Chloe Travis Curse.’ I can’t seem to hold that straight face that men do when they mentally check out after the deed has been done. It seems for men, the mask is easy to put on, if they’re wearing a mask at all. For them it’s all about the pussy.
You know I’m not an Insta-Snap girl, but I’d really like to see what it’s like to not feel the hurt and embarrassment of putting it out there (both literally and figuratively) only to have Mr. Big-Balls turn around and treat me like I’m another notch on his bedpost. I’d like for once to have the mask in place and make the Big-Balls out there feel something.
Over the years, I’ve found it’s easier to have the talk over the telephone rather than in person. I’ve learned how to keep my voice steady. It still hurts, but Mr. Big-Balls doesn’t know that I’m crushed inside. They get their conquest without recompense. I just don’t know why I let them do that.
Worse is when that one night stretches out into a couple of weeks or more. Then feelings start to grow. I’m always cautious, but it seems that my heart is just out there waiting to be squeezed. A partnership starts to be built and then the rug gets pulled out. And there I am in my Alexander McQueen mini being dumped on my ass — again.”
Chloe looked at the cursor blinking. It was waiting for her to bleed more out into Scrivener so she could post the entry on her blog. It was always waiting for her. Her fingers attacked the keyboard.
“Son of a mother-fucking bitch! Stupid horse’s ass with a comfortable cock and a luscious hair. I hate, hate, HATE you! Mother-fucking, titty sucking, two-balled bitch! Your Momma’s in the kitchen cooking red-hot shit. Your brother’s in jail. Your father’s in hell. And your sister’s around the corner yelling, ‘Pussy for sale!’”
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed on her leg. The screen was now a blurred wobbly image. The cursor blinked, waiting. Chloe’s face twisted up as she let the pain bubble up. She knew that Phil was not ‘The One,’ but she didn’t expect to be blown off. They had been flirting for a couple of weeks online and when they finally met in person, the chemistry between them was thick.
Chloe saw his smile and his chiseled face and melted. It was his eyes more than anything else. Phil’s eyes were a kind of mocha brown that matched up with how she took her coffee. All she could imagine was ripping into his clothes and leaving a trail of them in her wake.
Now, there was the hole. That space that she let Phil into was empty because he got what he wanted. All she had to do was spread her legs and let him in. Once he came, he left. He ignored her online and ignored her texts. Chloe knew that sometimes it took a brick to get through to her. This time it didn’t.
Questions raced through her mind. Was I bad in bed? Was I too clingy? What’s wrong with me? Each question was a punch in the gut. Chloe laid her forehead on the keyboard of her laptop and listened to the fan whir as she sobbed.
“Bastard.”
Chloe just sat in the chair with her head on the keyboard for a while. The whirring fan seemed to drown out everything else. It comforted her with its consistency. There was no variation. It was even.
Lifting her head up, she wiped away the tears from her face with the palms of her hands and then dried the keyboard with the cuff of her sweatshirt. She knew better than to let Phil inside to play with her emotions. She knew better to keep her heart on her sleeve.
Blinking back another bout of tears, Chloe straightened up and looked back at the screen. There were more words than she had written out. Her head probably had hit the keys.
“lure wwwwrm. rift lull gift SAFE saga”
Chloe stared at the words. There was no way that the random rolling of her head on the keyboard put them there. A slight chill started up her back, making her arch. Quickly highlighting the words, Chloe hit the backspace key. The text was gone.
She then selected the paragraph of venting and deleted the text. The cursor blinked at her waiting for the next line. Shaking her head to clear out thoughts of Phil and the strangeness of text she deleted, Chloe started at the top of her article again.
“We all wear masks. We have worn them decisively throughout history. It was not just defense.
I’ve not only learned but mastered how to wear my mask. Nothing can break me down. It’s not just my story but the story for all of us that have worn it. The ‘Chloe Travis Curse’ can be broken. I can show you how to hold that straight face. Men will flock to you. You can be the one who controls the deed and decide when it is done. I will make the mask is easy to put on. No one will know if you’re wearing a mask at all. For them it will be all about your purity.
Their minds will bend to you. They will snap. I can show you what it’s like to not feel the hurt and embarrassment of putting yourself out there (both literally and figuratively) only to have Mr. Big-Balls turn around and treat me like I’m another notch on his bedpost. I’d like for once to have the mask in place and make the Big-Balls out there feel something.
Over the years, I’ve helped countless women. You will no longer have to have the talk over the telephone. I will be your armor. I will be your spine. Together Mr. Big-Balls won’t know that he’s about to be crushed inside. You will take your conquest without recompense.
Our nights will stretch on for whatever time you choose. They will gnaw out their insides because of the feelings that will grow in them. You will not have to be cautious. Your heart will be protected. We will hold them by the balls and squeeze.
A partnership can be built betwixt you and I. You will know the true power of that Alexander McQueen mini and never be dumped on your ass again.”
Chloe put her hands on the table and pushed herself away from the laptop. For a moment, she didn’t know if she could stand. Wobbly legs stood and held her weight. All she could do was stare at the words.
She knew they weren’t hers. She knew she didn’t write them. She knew that the words were changed.
The chair rumbled across the carpet finally catching and turning over. Chloe found herself screaming as the chair’s legs ran up her own.
Finding the courage to lean in, she slammed her laptop closed and grabbed her phone that was charging via the USB port. It came away from the computer with a snap of resistance. Unlocking the phone, she found Leigh Ann’s number and hit the call button.
“Hi, you’ve reached Leigh Ann’s phone. I can’t talk right now because my mouth is probably full of something long, hard, and salty. You know what to do.”
“Goddamnit, Leigh Ann! I need you to come over, now!” Chloe could hear the panic in her voice, but she didn’t care.
Chloe moved through the kitchen and out of the den where her writing desk was set up. Bare feet slapped on the tile as she dialed Rachel’s number.
“You’ve reached Renee Knight. I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave a message.”
“Holy Christ!” Chloe almost screamed, “You too? Ren, I need you to come over. Something’s going on. Please, sweetie.” Chloe turned out of the kitchen and headed for her bedroom. She needed shoes, shoes and keys.
Tile gave way to a plush runner that lined the hallway. The soft knap pushed up against the soles of her feet and into the spaces between her toes. Normally Chloe would have relished it, now though, not so much. She just wanted to get a hold of Kelly.
“Hi, you’ve reached Kelly. I’m on assignment. Please leave a message.”
“Hon,” Chloe could hear something else in her voice she didn’t recognize. “It’s Chloe, please come over or call me back. I really need you.”
Chloe hit the end call button and gripped her phone tightly. She hurried down the hallway to her bedroom, hopped up on the bed, and grabbed a pillow in a stranglehold.
She kept thinking about the words she saw on her laptop. They weren’t her words. She knew that. The chill ran up her spine again. Something was here in her apartment. Chloe flipped the pillow over her head to land between her back and the headboard and slipped into the covers. She brought her knees up to her chin and hugged herself waiting for the phone to ring.
The transition from bright afternoon to inky blackness happened within a blink of an eye for Chloe. One moment she was amped up waiting for Leigh Ann, Renee, or Kelly to call and the next, she was moving her face off of her drool-soaked pillow.
Blinking to remove the sleep out of her eyes, Chloe felt uncomfortable. Something in the back of her mind was itching. Like the time when her pervy cousin was trying to catch a glimpse down her blouse.
Chloe sat up immediately and scanned the room. Darkness was the only thing there. Inky blackness seemed to loom over Chloe, shrinking her down to the size of a pea. It seemed to expand beyond her room.
She opened her eyes wide, watching it. It seemed to be looking back at her. Chloe’s skin itched now. Something in the darkness was caustic. Chloe struggled not to scratch her forearms and face. Tiny hairs on the back of Chloe’s neck started to rise up.
Shifting herself out from under the covers, Chloe crawled to the end of the bed and squinted. She could have sworn there was a patch of the black shadows that was deeper and more robust. Chloe sat back on her feet and craned her head towards the darker patch of shadows just beyond her reach. Something almost perceptible was shuffling.
Leaning in, Chloe could almost hear it. Signals in her brain were screaming for her to relieve the itching. Moving her jaw forward, Chloe strained to clear her ears in an effort to listen harder. Almost there. There was something…
Chloe let out a scream as her phone chimed off loud tones from underneath the pile of covers. Buzzing quickly followed. Turning back for the phone, Chloe’s hair whipped around and hit the side of her face. Immediately looking backwards, Chloe felt more than saw something retreating back into the shadow.
She lunged for the phone, fighting with the covers to find it. The tones were still singing off and it was still vibrating. A soft sigh seemed to follow her. Chloe’s skin itched where the blanket touched it.
“Damnit!”
Chloe could see the light filtering through the blanket as it was ringing. Finally, she found the edge of the blanket and maneuvered the phone to free it from the tangle. Renee’s face appeared on the screen. Raven locks and an upturned nose never looked so good. Quickly, Chloe swiped right on the screen to accept the call.
“Ren!” Chloe could feel the tension easing out of her.
“Chloe?” Renee’s voice was distant, as if calling from a can. “What’s going on?”
“Ren, Ren, oh Ren. Thank God.” Chloe stammered. “I don’t know. Something weird is going on. There were some words and just now something here in the bedroom.”
“Chloe?” static broke in. “Chloe?”
Chloe brought the phone away from her ear and looked at it. The charge was good. She had four bars. There shouldn’t be any issues on her end. She could hear Renee keep asking for her.
“Chloe?” Renee’s voice changed. “…unnel…ck.”
“No, no, no, no.” Chloe pleaded with the phone as she watched the line disconnect. As the screen went black, a sigh escaped from the end of Chloe’s bed. Shadows grew deeper. On instinct, Chloe hit the button that lit up the phone’s lock screen. Pale light didn’t make it past the end of the bed. With the other hand, Chloe moved to switch on the lamp at her bedside.
Soft yellow light permeated the room. The doors to her antique Armoire opposite the bed stood open. In the mirror, she could see a dim reflection of herself. The clothes were in order, but there was something that struck Chloe funny. Getting up and sliding bare feet into pink fuzzy slippers, she shuffled over to the Armoire and shut all three of its doors.
The touch of the wooden doors sent a tingling through her hands and arms. Chloe’s shoulders twitched as her spine recovered from the pulse. The wood was cool. The pattern of the grain stood out, but the surface wasn’t rough. It had been a gift for her birthday from Kelly. It was a knockdown three door Armoire imported from the United Kingdom in 1927. The Birdseye Maple was rich and wholesome, yet something about the piece now just gave her chills when she touched it.
Checking her phone, Chloe was distracted from the raised bumps on her arms. It was as if thousands of mosquitoes had their fill of blood and then vanished. She could only imagine how her face looked. Focusing back on the phone, no other messages had come through while she was sleeping. She wondered what was keeping Leigh Ann and Kelly from calling.
Under the harsh bathroom light, Chloe could see the red splotches on her face. Chloe twisted her face up and frowned at her reflection. No amount of base was going to cover it up. Her disheveled curly blonde hair didn’t make the picture any better.
The phone rang again loudly and vibrated on the granite counter. Chloe snatched it up. It was Renee calling back.
“Ohmigod!” Chloe blurted. “I need you to come over.”
“What’s going on?” Renee’s concern eased Chloe through the phone.”You sounded frantic on your message and not much better now.”
“These words weren’t mine,” Chloe started, “and just now the Armoire felt funny.”
“Chloe,” Renee didn’t seem to understand, “what are you talking about? What words? What about the Armoire?”
“Oh, Ren,” Chloe sighed. “I just don’t know. Can you come over? I don’t feel safe right now.”
“Lock the door, Sweetie,” Renee said flatly. “I’ll be right over.” Chloe melted against the vanity in the bathroom.
“Thank you, Hon.” Chloe hung up and turned on the water.
The coolness of the water eased the itching on her face. Patting her face dry, she heard the sigh again from her bedroom. Chloe felt her neck tense instantly as she looked back towards her bedroom. The lamp was still lit. As she walked into the room, the doors to the Airmoire were open again. Chloe stood outside the room and unlocked her phone. She pulled up both Kelly and Leigh Ann from her contacts list and began typing, “I’ve got wine. Come over.”
Chloe sent the text and backed away from her bedroom and headed back through the hallway. Stopping in the kitchen, she looked out into the den. Her laptop was open. The chair was set back properly on the carpet.
With wide eyes, she reached for the Santoku on the magnetic strip near the stovetop. The Henkel was comfortable in her hand. It wasn’t too long for her and Chloe knew it was sharp. Chloe held a death grip on both the knife and her cell phone as she crouched down and stepped forward.
Creeping around the corner, she saw Scrivener was still open on the laptop. More words were there. She didn’t bother to look at them. They weren’t her words anyway. Chloe took a wide angle around the small writing table and into the living room.
There were wine glasses out and a bottle of Merlot. Three of them were standing half-filled around the open bottle. Chloe approached the table and set her phone down. The bottle was warm. How long had it been out?
Two of the glasses had lipstick around the rim. The muscles in Chloe’s face contracted as her lip came out. One shade was unmistakably Leigh Ann’s. She only wore Diorissimo. Mixed with the scent of the Merlot was the scent of Alibaba. Kelly’s new favorite.
“No, no, no.” Chloe mumbled, dropping the knife and bringing her hands to her mouth. She stood there shaking her arms. She couldn’t see clearly through the tears that were welling from her eyes. Chloe pointed to the left over wine and the gathering of used glasses and shook her head.
Chloe turned her head away from the sofa and coffee table and ran the wide arc back to the kitchen. The bile was rising in her throat. She was going to be sick. She reached the stainless steel sink just in time to save the tile and the granite.
A flood of vomit splattered into the basin from Chloe’s mouth. Turning her head to the side, she turned on the faucet and watched the deep red coagulation flow down the disposal. It smelled of wine and gastric juice. Chloe heaved again.
Laying her head on the cold surface of the granite, Chloe glared into the den. She could see her laptop was open and the chair as it would usually sit. This time it wasn’t so inviting.
Chloe wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. It came away red. She didn’t want to think about that. She wanted to know that Leigh Ann and Kelly were all right. She needed to know that they were all right.
Her head was heavy. Her hair hurt along with her stomach. Chloe lifted up and walked towards the den where the laptop was sitting. She didn’t want to think about what the words said, but she had to know. Chloe’s face was a mask of pain.
Chloe closed her eyes and pulled the chair out so she could sit. All she wanted to do was run. It didn’t matter where. Her stomach complained again. She ignored it.
The cursor blinked on a blank line as it always did. She scrolled up.
“I’ve borrowed your mask. It was comfortable and exquisite. They didn’t even know. They had no defense.
Your skin is so delicate, but I’ve learned how to let it breathe. It is a glorious and beautiful mask. Nothing can separate us now. We are bonded. It’s not just my story but your story for the rest of your days. The ‘Chloe Travis Curse’ is broken. I’ve taken the sacrifice. The wine and blood are enough of a tribute. We can hold our face up high in the knowledge that all will come and pay homage to us. We control the deeds. We decide what can be done. Well, I will, anyway. Your mask is now so easy to put on. No one will know if you’re wearing a mask at all. For them it will be all about you, but it will be me.
Your mind bent easily to me. All it took was a simple push, a small gap. Worry not though. You’ll never feel the embarrassment of putting yourself out there again. I’ll be there instead. They will all feel something.
I am eternal and you as lovely as the countless women I’ve had before. I will be your armor. I will be your spine. I will take conquest without recompense. I will be the one surviving.
We will stretch on for whatever time your flesh survives. You’ll feel though. You will gnaw and thrash deep within. I’ll not have to be cautious. Your heart called out to me to be protected. I’ll show you how to break hearts again.”
Chloe felt all of her nerves firing. Flashes of Leigh Ann’s smile fading assaulted her. Kelly’s face was bruised but not bloody. The Armoire doors were open. The clothes were gone. In the reflection of the mirror Chloe could see the wicked smile on her own face.
It was her, but it wasn’t her. Kelly had told her it was a 20th Century piece from an estate sale in Glastonbury. In new flashes of memory, Chloe knew the parts were far older, not the Bakelite fixtures, of course, but the wood. Ancient memories flooded into Chloe’s brain as laughter echoed in her mind.
Her heart went to her throat when Chloe heard the familiar chime of the doorbell. Renee was here. Laughter echoed again. It was all around her.
Without her will, Chloe felt her body lift from the chair and start to walk across the room. She tried to stop, but her legs kept moving. Chloe could feel a smile form on her face as she reached for the door.
“Renee!” she heard her voice call out as the door opened to reveal the last of her best friends. “Thank you for coming. I was so scared.”
“Anything for you, Chloe.” Renee smiled and wrapped her arms around Chloe’s body. Chloe could feel Renee’s heartbeat. She could smell her perfume. Laughter echoed around her.
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